In tht Land of Sandra Dee...just for fun!

Sandra Dee... Long ago and far away,
in a land that time forgot,
before the days of Dylan
or the dawn of Camelot.

There lived a race of innocents,
and they were you and me,
long ago and far away
In the Land of Sandra Dee.

Oh, there was truth and goodness
In that land where we were born,
where navels were for oranges,
and Peyton Place was porn.

For Ike was in the White House,
And Hoss was on TV,
And God was in his heaven
in the land of Sandra Dee.

We spread our crinolines to dry
In circles on the Lawn,
All starched and sprayed and rustling
In the land of Sandra Dee.

We longed for love and romance,
and waited for the prince,
Then Eddie Fisher married Liz,
and no one's seen him since.

We danced to "Little Darlin"
And sang to "Stagger Lee'
we cried for Buddy Holly
In the land of Sandra Dee.

Only girls wore earrings then,
and three was one too many,
when only guys wore flat-top cuts,
In the land of Sandra Dee.

Not even in our wildest dreams
Did we expect to see
A boy named George with lipstick
In the land of Sandra Dee.

We fell for Frankie Avalon,
Annette was oh, so nice,
And when they made a movie,
they may have kissed just twice.

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold,
And Chester had a limp,
And Reagan was a Democrat
whose co-star was a chimp.

We had a Mr. Wizard,
but not a Mr. T,
And Oprah couldn't talk yet
In the land of Sandra Dee.

We had our share of heroes,
we never thought they'd go,
at least not Bobby Darin,
or Marilyn Monroe.
And Elvis was forever,
In the land of Sandra Dee.

We'd never seen the rock band
that was Grateful to be Dead,
Beatles lived in gardens then,
And Monkees in a tree
And the Madonna was a virgin,
In the land of Sandra Dee.

We'd never heard of Microwaves,
or cell phones,
And babies "grown" in Jars,
And Gay meant fancy-free,
And Microchips were what was left
at the bottom of the bag.

Hardware was a box of nails,
and bytes came from a flea,
and our rocket ships were fiction
In the land of Sandra Dee.

Bathing suits came big enough
To cover both your cheeks,
Coke came just in bottles,
and skirts came to the knee,
we had no crest with Fluoride,
or prime-time ads for condoms
In the land of Sandra Dee.

Middle-age was thirty-five
And old was forty-three
And ancient were our parents,
And now I get invitations
to join AARP,
we've come a long way Baby,
From the land of Sandra Dee.

So now we face a brave new world
In "slightly" larger jeans,
And we wonder why they're using
Smaller print in our magazines.

We tell our children's children
of the way it used to be,
Long ago and far away
In the land of Sandra Dee.