Journal page 4 and California Coast

Don't you just love Valentines...you walk in the store and everything is red....Love is in the air! No candy for me this year. I have had a few hard moments and I have cheated a couple of times, but I think it is apart of the journey. I need to feel this in a personal way, I can pick myself up and dust off the sugar and start over again. I got out the sewing machine and did some of my stash of paper and made the striped background in reds. It is so true, you want to do more and more of them. Click to enlarge:) I want to thank everyone who commented on page 2 and 3...it means so much to me. Everyone has a story, it was healing to share this, to write the words even though it was painful. I almost didn't send it. Trust! I am working on that....
Arney bought me this a few days ago on line. I got it yesterday. It is a DVD of the coast of California. I can put it on the TV and spin away on my bike. I really didn't like the background music, so I will play something else while I am spinning down the Virtual Reality Road..

Journal pages 2 and 3

Click on pages to enlarge:)

Once upon a time there was a little girl who tried to please everyone but could not. She was lonely and afraid because she believed that she was Bad. Nothing ever lasted, if she became happy there was fear in that moment. Even though there were people who loved her, she never trusted that feeling. Love came with large amounts of mental pain. She often could not catch her own breath, and her heart would beat so fast that she thought it would come out of her chest. She was a lost child, and there are so many of them walking around wondering why they were left by there parents. What did she do wrong, wasn't she pretty enough, was she unlovable so they left her behind. Where they just to young to understand that the things they did would leave holes that could never be filled. And when they decided to bring this little girl into their life, anger took the place of the love she had been given by her care givers, her Grandparents. I would have loved to have talked to that little girl, tell her that she was worth something, that she was a good person and one day she would grow up and someone special would find her and love her forever.

My Arney

I go to church, but I left the SDA church when I was 14.

Woolworth

When I found this menu it took me back to a time when I would get a cherry coke or a ice cream at the cafe' within the store. It was one of my favorite places to go. My Mother would buy fabric or yarn most of the time. I remember the money would go into a tube of some kind and go up to a person on the second floor...that was really cool. This menu is from the 1950's. They had penny candy and popcorn too, it was fun looking at the glass jars of goodies. I can remember making that popcorn last all day. You could smell it the minute you came through the door. My Grandpa loved the cafe', he would be with us sometimes...he would get a cup of coffee, they filled it over and over for the price of the first cup. My little sister almost always had a little brown bag of candy when we got home, Grandpa loved to by candy for us kids. If you had a quarter, it got ya a lot. I remember when Mama decided we could have a couple of Turtles. You could smell the Hamsters, the fish and the turtles as you went toward the back of the store. She bought a glass or plastic bowl with a island with a Palm tree in the middle. You put water in the bowl and they could swim or go up on the island. We thought they were really cute, gathered flies to feed them. I know we named them but I can't remember the names. Our cat was interested in them too, so we had to keep watch over them. We had gold fish too, the bowl was always cloudy, you could hardly see them. We would get all nerves when they would flop onto the floor while cleaning the bowl. It was always sad when you found one floating on it's back in the bowl, Mama would flush the poor things down the toilet, I thought that was wrong, just wrong. So here is my little memories of the Woolworth...I hope you are having a wonderful day.
Click on page to enlarge...

Arney's Birthday & it is Snowing

It started snowing this evening...because it has been warmer than usual, I have some plants that will not like this...but I love it!

We all had a really nice time....not the best picture, but I think you get the idea. I made a very large chocolate cake. One box for each layer, and two different kinds of frosting. I didn't find my candles so put a votive on the cake. Like most things with us, there is a story about this cake. I got the frosting on perfect ( my perfect) which means it looked homemade. I had Arney put it in the ref. He closed the door, I went to get something and found that cake and frosting was stuck to the inside of the door. Oh No! So I fixed it. Arney put it back in the ref. and realized that the cantaloupe in the mesh bag was causing him the problem...so he took it out over the top of the cake and again messed up my frosting. It now had some funny looking design, but I decided it would just have to do. Knowing that it would taste really good anyway. And it did:) The last time I made this cake, Mattie ate a side of it...just before we were leaving for Jenny's Birthday a couple of years back...I almost cried.

Happy Birthday too my Dearest Arney!

Journal page # 1

I really have started to enjoy this, it was just hard getting started. I see such lovely Journals and I am not sure this is my thing, but it is good therapy for me. I hope you enjoy these pages. I will be sharing some of my past as well as now. Click to enlarge.... Meet the No Sugar Fairy.