Monday, September 26, 2011

As we say good-by to September…..


Along with leaves turning all shades of amber, yellows, and reds, comes the memories of new pencils, paper not yet written on, the smell of new books, and the Pee Chee that was free of doodles and that special guy that you couldn’t stop looking at. The cold leather seats on the morning bus, good old number 10. The new shoes that for the first week gave me a bloody sore on my heal. One size to big, gotta have room to grow. My locker that was always a mess. Open at own risk should have been on the front. A coke and candy bar for lunch…gotta have hair spray and nylon’s. Save that lunch money! Baby sitting for pennies so I could save for a new black wool skirt. Making old clothes look new, thank you Grandma for teaching me to sew. waiting for the bus in 3 feet of snow.

Falling in love, lost love, searching for Mister Wonderful when there were lots of frogs. Going to be a Air line stewardess, come fly with me. To short!!! Best friends, lunch at the senior tree. Flat chest in a world of big boobs. Walking through the fall leaves and feeling the crunch  and waiting to grow up. So this is my September felling….


Janet said...

You brought back so many memories with this post. Just seeing the Pee Chee folder was enough to send me down memory lane but then when I read your words I was right back in high school.

I also wanted to be an airline stewardess! Didn't happen though. Now I'm glad I didn't as I don't fly at all.

Betzie said...

I can relate to the flat chest Mary! LOL
Love the fall and all the memories that come with it! Fun read!
Have been putting out my fall stuff so ready for the cooler temps!


Thank you so much for kind and thoughtful words. I know that this is my pain to bare, but I really don't want it anymore. I get to a point where things don't hurt as deeply and then something out of nowhere breaks down all of the walls that I had built.
I know my friends and even my family wants everything to get better or actually go away, and short of walking away from them completely I don't know what else to do. I don't talk to my friends about what I am feeling, I try my best to hide my true feelings from them, but every once in a while it comes out. I have grown a part from many of my friends and family, and I wish that it wasn't that way. You are one of my true friends that know how much my family means to me. My memories keep going back to a conversation that you, Megan and I was before Meg and I left for college- you were telling us how proud you were, how far we had come and how far we were going to go in life. You envisioned Meg in a far away city teaching and you saw me happily married walking in a beautiful field- barefoot and pregnant, having lots of babies. At the time I remember thinking that would be wonderful and I would be a nurse and totally and completely happy. I have always held that memory in the back of my mind, tucked away in a special place in my heart. I know that I am not the only person to have ever lost a child- it just never fit into my plans of a wonderful life. I know losing a child never fits into anyones life. I just want to be some place in the future where it doesn't hurt so much, so deeply. I just want to get somewhere where I am happy and my heart is no longer broken. Anyway, those are my current hopes, so my friends and family don't feel so uncomfortable around me.
Love and Hugs- Sara

Mary Bee said...

WOW a Pee Chee. We all carried them. What a great memory that visual brings back.